So the other day I was walking to the station, sporting a frown, my mood could not have been any worse. Usually the only person who is able to influence my state of mind like that is myself.
So here was I, walking towards the station, extremely frustrated with myself, and frustrated with the fact that I could not do anything about this frustration.
This was not new, the monster had done this to me countless times before, and stronger my determination to not suffer another defeat like this in the future, even more comprehensive was the next attack and the defeat. No wonder the wise Muhammad once said "that the greatest struggle is the struggle against yourself". Was he right or was he right?
Anyways, back to my walk, I knew I had missed the bus that I was supposed to catch, I was too early for the next train, meaning I had just missed the last train too. This basically meant I was going to be reach university 1 hour later than I should have, yet another class missed, yet another mark for attendance gone.
Walking with all these angry thoughts, and not being able to identify the enemy, I knew I was badly defeated.
Just then, I came across a familiar wrinkled face, that sported huge glasses. It was the face of an extremely old lady who I had met once or twice at the park just before the train station. She used to sit in one of the benches and being the poor lonely souls that we are, we connected at once. We would exchange compliments, "hello there beautiful lady," and "how are you young man". Anyways, the last time I had seen her was more than 2 months back, and this wasn't really a regular phenomena, we had just met once or twice. So I was not sure if she would recognize me.
Before I can greet her, she extends her hand towards me and asks for money "give me money, do you have any money"
I quickly reached for my wallet only to be stopped by the same hand, and the lady spoke, " its ok, i was just testing you, you are a good man"
I smiled...."Do you remember me?"
"Of course you, I used to see you at the park on the way to the station"
She remembered me, a huge boost for my ego.
Knowing that I was terribly early for the next train, I decided to know a bit more about her this time. I asked her about where she was from, when she came here, how long she has been living here, about her family etc.
What I learnt from her interested me. She had no husband, one son who lived in Brisbane, and one son who lived with her. This son was mentally disturbed. She showed me her house, which was right next to where we I had met her, (ah what timing...who set this up?) and she showed me the pieces of land around the house too, which belonged to her at one time but had to be sold under certain circumstances.
Sensing she had finished giving an account of herself, I quickly asked her if I could come inside and help her with the bags, I wanted to know more about her, actually, I had a selfish reason. I am greatly interested in learning about old people and their take on life, firstly the knowledge I gained helped me to pretend among others my age how much I know about what life really is, and secondly it gave me ideas and information for my characters and stories and films in my mind.
But it was not to be.
"My son is not well, he does not like new unknown people, he does not like anyone coming into the house. Don't worry, we will meet again, take care, and good bye."
I resumed walking, and suddenly I felt this new wave of energy inside me. All of a sudden, all those tiny issues and matters that frustrated and distressed me seemed insignificant. I felt these were complete non issues, not at all a big deal, and something I can easily overcome.
And then I felt the positive energy that had been somehow transformed into me by the old lady. My dreams, aspirations came back to me, I started to dream again with open eyes while awake - my all time favourite activity.
I could explain this sudden influx of positive energy that took place within the space of few minutes, I could not point at something and say "that's what changed my mood".
But I just felt the difference. I knew I probably would be defeated again, but at least this time I was still raring to go, this time I was looking forward to the next showdown, I was looking forward to welcoming the enemy.
I probably would lose, but I would still fight.
